Life and other annoyances.
I know it’s only a number but by this time next year I will be forty, and I was still so bummed out about turning thirty that I honestly didn’t see this coming. My thirties have served me up with a smattering of grey hair, a lower back that magically retains fat and a desire …
I had this very bizarre, but very real dream last night. I arranged with a group of friends to meet up later that evening at the train station, before going on to a nightclub in town. With the time to meet decided upon, we all went back to our respective homes to ready ourselves …
During the time since I posted my last blog I have devised a very clever little game, to while away those precious hours that should be being used for more constructive pursuits. The rules to this game are very simple. You think of a problem that affects you in some way, from the tiniest …
I’m here to talk to you today about Alien abduction, you know, that thing that happens when extra terrestrial beings force an overweight hillbilly to lie on table and forcefully insert probes into their abductees’ bottom. I naively believed this to be an American problem, as the tales of denim clad farmers being snatched unceremoniously …
Now that the dust has settled, the flags have all been stored away safely, and those in the glitter cannon rental business sit and ponder how on earth they will make any profit throughout the next 364 days, we say goodbye for another year to the Eurovision song contest. We had laughter (mainly mine), we …
Continue reading "It aint over until the bearded lady sings – A Eurovision review."
Firstly I will get the history part of this piece out of the way, before making some probable ill-judged comments on how backward most of Europe is. The Eurovision song contest is an annual contest held among the member countries of the European Broadcasting Union and has been broadcast onto our television screens every …
Continue reading "Eurovisually challenged – A Eurovision Song Contest Preview"
It’s okay don’t panic, everything is going to be fine. You’ll be very pleased to know that there is a new figure we can all completely hate with every fibre of our being, a figurehead for everything that is wrong with humanity. I became rather concerned when my unrequited loathing for Piers Morgan had softened …
I can vividly remember that fateful evening as though it were yesterday. I had traveled into London with my girlfriend of the time for an evening of fine dining and cultural stimulation. I remember gazing at her across the grey Formica table as she hungrily slurped the remaining topping from her final slice of Super …
Continue reading "Cheese Release Me. A cautionary tale of perversion and preserves."
I’m a shameful wretch of a man who is gullible and has this overwhelming urge to please, pretty much all of the time. No please don’t disagree because these are the facts. As sure as eggs are eggs and fat people wearing leggings are hideous. How did I come to this startling conclusion you may …
The relationship between human and dogs can be traced back to nearly 14,000 years ago, where bones belonging to both species were found at a burial site at Bonn-Oberkassel in Germany. The findings certainly point towards a domestication partnership, or the site where a set of savage dogs, so full from feasting on human flesh …
Miserable Musing. 