Life and other annoyances.
The sound of people munching crisps has been revealed in a poll as the most annoying thing in the world. I would imagine that the reoccurring sight of Walker’s poster boy, the jug-eared potato peddler that is Gary Lineker, is a close second. On a side note, I’m still slightly annoyed that I have received …
Sir Thomas Overbury first found the proverb, “Beauty is only skin deep” in a work from the year 1613. The follow up proverb “But what if they have a lot of skin?” was first seen scrawled on a notepad in my living room, just over a week ago. This week I read an article that …
I have penned this poem in honour of Mrs Jackie Stallone. I felt compelled to write it as her face reminded me of an Albino, melted waxwork of Zsa Zsa Gabor. Oh Jackie, Are you happy? Are you well? Cos we can't tell. Oh Jackie, Your skin looks flappy, Given a burden, From your plastic …
Eastenders has always been renowned for it’s Gritty Realism and hard-hitting storylines, I mean Dirty Den died twice and if that’s not realistic enough for you then may I suggest watching something else. So you can imagine my surprise when I read an article in The Telegraph in which the shows executive producer says that …
Dear Justin, Can I call you Justin? Or would you prefer Mr. Bieber, J.B or J Bib? Maybe I can call you Jelena or is that too soon? In all honesty you’re probably better off without Miss Gomez, you’d only drag her down. Just a thought, why do the press find it necessary to …
Hot on the deck shoe heels of my last blog, which looked into the accusations that gay marriage has a big impact on our nations inclement weather, I am here again to delve into the issues faced by being gay or being in a same-sex relationship in today’s supposedly educated society. Not content with signing …
I once witnessed an old homeless lady discard her grubby underwear, lift her skirt, bend over and proceed to expel an arc of urine some three feet behind her, much to the disgust of the crowds of people waiting for their bus home. I’ve seen two drunken business types, perform what can only be described …
Without the Interference of Ticketmaster and a recent online survey, I would never have known that people find the use of mobile phones by patrons, the least acceptable aspect of visiting the Theatre. Does that even count as ‘research’? Surely it’s just stating the obvious isn’t it? Like telling a professional darts player he’s carrying …
A month into writing this blog and the old grey matter is failing me. What on earth can I write about? Maybe a piece about the horrors of that performance at the VMA’s by that complete twerk Miley Cyrus? Probably not, It’s old news now and to be honest if I have to look at …
I was pleased to see that new laws have come into place in Shenzhen, China, that will see public toilet users fined 100 Yuan, if they are deemed to have failed to urinate accurately in city facilities. Once I had finished trying to comprehend how these people were failing to be accurate with their urine, …
Miserable Musing. 