Life and other annoyances.
I have penned this poem in honour of Mrs Jackie Stallone. I felt compelled to write it as her face reminded me of an Albino, melted waxwork of Zsa Zsa Gabor. Oh Jackie, Are you happy? Are you well? Cos we can't tell. Oh Jackie, Your skin looks flappy, Given a burden, From your plastic …
Eastenders has always been renowned for it’s Gritty Realism and hard-hitting storylines, I mean Dirty Den died twice and if that’s not realistic enough for you then may I suggest watching something else. So you can imagine my surprise when I read an article in The Telegraph in which the shows executive producer says that …
Dear Justin, Can I call you Justin? Or would you prefer Mr. Bieber, J.B or J Bib? Maybe I can call you Jelena or is that too soon? In all honesty you’re probably better off without Miss Gomez, you’d only drag her down. Just a thought, why do the press find it necessary to …
The 2014 56th Annual Grammy awards has arrived, with the usual blend of winners, losers and microphone abusers, all gathered in downtown L.A’s Staples Centre. The question that was surely at the forefront of most people’s minds (as this is a music award ceremony) was “who will be providing the controversy?” Those with an enquiring …
Continue reading "If music be the food of love then Yoko Ono is the resulting bowell movement."
Hot on the deck shoe heels of my last blog, which looked into the accusations that gay marriage has a big impact on our nations inclement weather, I am here again to delve into the issues faced by being gay or being in a same-sex relationship in today’s supposedly educated society. Not content with signing …
I once witnessed an old homeless lady discard her grubby underwear, lift her skirt, bend over and proceed to expel an arc of urine some three feet behind her, much to the disgust of the crowds of people waiting for their bus home. I’ve seen two drunken business types, perform what can only be described …
For those of you who didn’t know, like you sir that have gone feral and spend your days eating woodland creatures, or you madam as somebody without the power of sight and hearing, this year’s 70th annual Golden Globes rolled in to a small rural town called California. To be honest I didn’t have any …
“Welcome, you vast expanse of jellyfied excrement”. That is the sort of greeting you can expect when you employ the services of a personal trainer, at your local Gym. I don’t know that for a fact but I can imagine it’s a welcome along those lines. It’s that time of the year where guilt-ridden folk …
It’s that time of year folks when badly dressed, aggressive teenagers, lurk outside your front door, in the hopes of robbing you or smashing up your hanging baskets. ‘Halloween’ to give it its correct name is upon us again and it’s the one night of the year where a dirty sheet is deemed to be …
Above - The Strictly Judges let everybody know how many seconds of Brucie's joke telling, they can withstand. Dear Strictly Come Dancing Producers, It has come to my attention that the live studio audience that attend your show, are actively encouraged to clap like mentally ill chimps, during every piece of music. Now while clapping …
Continue reading "An open letter to those Strictly suffering with the clap."
Miserable Musing. 