Life and other annoyances.
I know it’s only a number but by this time next year I will be forty, and I was still so bummed out about turning thirty that I honestly didn’t see this coming. My thirties have served me up with a smattering of grey hair, a lower back that magically retains fat and a desire …
During the time since I posted my last blog I have devised a very clever little game, to while away those precious hours that should be being used for more constructive pursuits. The rules to this game are very simple. You think of a problem that affects you in some way, from the tiniest …
The sound of people munching crisps has been revealed in a poll as the most annoying thing in the world. I would imagine that the reoccurring sight of Walker’s poster boy, the jug-eared potato peddler that is Gary Lineker, is a close second. On a side note, I’m still slightly annoyed that I have received …
It’s that time of year folks when badly dressed, aggressive teenagers, lurk outside your front door, in the hopes of robbing you or smashing up your hanging baskets. ‘Halloween’ to give it its correct name is upon us again and it’s the one night of the year where a dirty sheet is deemed to be …
It’s official; our children are not getting adequate careers advice. Well, not my children, I don’t actually have any, but that’s beside the point. According to the independent children’s, regulatory service Ofsted, our children (not mine) aren’t receiving careers advice from skilled sources at their respective schools. Those that had alternatively bought in careers advice …
Happy Misery Day! Today is the day that you can legally punch dogs in the face, use the C word at school children, and call your own mother a slag! Feel that the cab driver that brought you home took the long way round, just to milk more money from your ever-dwindling wallet supply? Spit …
Continue reading "The one where i appear to be the only cheerful person in town. Non-fiction."
Ever since I was knee high to a paedophile I'd fantasized about having a super power. Maybe it would be nice to jump really high I thought, or fly into space and go supersonic, or defecate curly wurly's at will (I had a troubled upbringing) I'd spend literally hours, gazing off into the distance, imagining …
I have become a veritable fountain of ideas for numerous celebrity fronted television shows as of late. Below are a few of my most recent brain farts, and quite possibly the best ideas that any human has ever devised. As of this moment many agents and production companies are remaining fashionably tight-lipped and non-committal to …
It is with a serious sense of discomfort that I am writing this today as the sound of my pudgy little fingers, tapping away on this keyboard, is giving me the overbearing urge to hurl this keyboard through the nearest window. Although I couldn’t possibly do that as the sound of breaking glass would drive …
Miserable Musing. 